whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
