You don't have asthma, your pregnant
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
