She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Sext me about skeletons
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
