Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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