here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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