oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
sex in a hospital.. check
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
