I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
