Plan B is the new Plan A
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
