Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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