I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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