I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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