Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I hope mine doesn't look like that
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i drank out of a bidet.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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