His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
