i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
