My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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