Some one left their pants in the elevator.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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