Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.

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(916): View more from California

Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.

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(801): View more from Utah

I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together

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(813): View more from Florida

IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA

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(925): View more from California

I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.

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(757): View more from Virginia

I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness

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