I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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