I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
