she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
