Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
