do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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