I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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