You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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