whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
it's like iHOP with fire
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
