WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
