the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
false alarm, still single
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
