I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
