You're so nebulous sometimes
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
