I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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