btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
