Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
