guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize