Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
