Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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