I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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