Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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