is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
