tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i came on her dog
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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