well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
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He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
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Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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