You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I intend to get homeless drunk
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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