barbara walters just said penis...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
