y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
