I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Randomize
