Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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