I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
