He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
