This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize