I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
