oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
