PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
