I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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