can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
