Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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