3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
