Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize