Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
