I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
