its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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