I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
