..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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