Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just found puke in my bra..
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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