Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize