he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
